LETTER TO THE EPHESIANS
The Life of the Spirit
Ephesians 5:15-24
INTRODUCTION: Be Filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:15-20)
| Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; |
Few people understand the significance of what it means for Jesus to be the Christ. The word "Christ" is literally the Greek translation of the Hebrew word "Messiah," which means "Anointed One." But anointed with what? With the Holy Spirit. When was Jesus the Messiah/Christ anointed with the Holy Spirit? At the time of His baptism when not only did God the Father speak from heaven but also when the Holy Spirit descended upon Jesus in the form of a dove in order to remain upon Him permanently. From that point on, Jesus did everything in the power of the Spirit. It is for this reason that Jesus most likely performed no miracles before His baptist--because He had not yet been baptized with the Holy Spirit. He could have done the miracles in His own strength and power; however, He came to us as the Messiah which meant He first had to be anointed with the Holy Spirit before He began His ministry.
Jesus, though, did not receive the Spirit simply so that it would remain with Him exclusively. Rather, by receiving the Holy Spirit, Jesus then became the fountain of the Holy Spirit: "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.' But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified" (John 7:37-39). Jesus receives the Spirit so that He might be able to pour out that same Spirit upon us, His followers. He pours out the Spirit upon His followers at the time of their salvation.
So what is the big deal about receiving the Spirit at the time of your salvation? It is a huge deal because it is the Spirit who actually gives life, the very life that God Himself enjoys (see Rom. 8:6; 2 Pet. 1:4). No Spirit, no life.
Note several things about what Paul says in v. 18.
So what does it look like if I am filled with the Spirit of Christ? What does the life of God really look like when it is being lived out in this world? Whatever else is true about the life of God, it has major implications for the relationships we live in daily: with our spouses, our parents, our children, our employers, with our employees, etc. Life is relationship; therefore, the life of God is going to impact primarily relationships.
Before looking at the specific instructions Paul gives us concerning marriage, we need to remember that this topic falls within a broader context which began in Eph. 5:18: "Do not get drunk with wine for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Holy Spirit." Why does Paul command us to be filled with the Spirit?
First, whenever we became Christians, we came to Christ with a sense that we were guilty of sins and wanted to turn from those sins. If we look closely at sin, we realize that sin is primarily against other people. I sin against God, my spouse, my parents, my children, my fellow employees, my employer, etc. When I come to Christ for salvation, I am basically committing myself to turning from sin, that is, sin against others.
The major problem I have with this though is that I can't treat others rightly in my own strength and power. Neither does God expect us to live this kind of life in our own strength and power. When we became Christians, He placed the Spirit of His Son within us so that we might live the life He wants us to live. Paul is going to lay down some difficult instructions for us to follow--in our own strength and power; we can follow them though in the power of the Spirit.
One of the relationships Paul focuses on in the next few verses is marriage. If ever the power of the Spirit was needed for marriages, it is needed today. Not only do I have my old sin nature and Satan to contend with, there is a world out there that is constantly saying, "Don't take that; dump your spouse!" The government has made divorce so easy to obtain that it appears that our society is pushing for divorce. When it is all said and done, the marriages that are going to make it today are going to make it in the power and strength of the Holy Spirit.
"But," you might say, "Carey, my spouse is horrible!" So? First, at times I bet you are pretty horrible. Second, the Holy Spirit is quite capable of giving you the strength to remain in that marriage relationship. If the Spirit who lives in you created the universe and raised Jesus from the dead, then I think that He is quite powerful enough to give you the strength to endure the hardships which marriage can bring.
BE SUBJECT TO ONE ANOTHER (Ephesians 5:21)
| and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. |
The Wives Are to Submit to Their Husbands
As an introduction to the topic of relationships Paul commands us to “be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” The verb “to be subject” unfortunately has been misused by Christians to force women into a type of servile relationship with their husbands. This verse and v. 22 have been used to justify men treating their wives any way they want with the wife having to comply with this ill-treatment. It has been understood in the sense of the woman being “under the authority of the man.”
There are three problems with this understanding of submission. First, Paul in this verse is not just speaking to women. He is speaking to EVERYBODY, including men. Not only are women to subject themselves to certain people in society, men are likewise to subject themselves to certain people in society-government officials and employers.
Second, if the woman is to submit to the husband in this manner, then the man is to submit to his emplyer in the same manner (Eph. 6:5). There is no way that the modern American male would think of submitting to his employer in this way. What holds good for the goose, though, also holds for the gander. The male cannot have it both ways.
Third, the word translated “be subject” is used in Greek literature to refer to military units, for example, military units on parade. In these military units each person has his own function and role in the unit. In the procession the leader is not hovering above the rank-and-file; rather he is marching in front of the unit. In this sense the leader is in front of the military unit, not above it. In the same way the husband is not “above” the wife but is in front of the wife and the rest of the family, leading the way for the entire family. This setup prevents chaos in the home and in the nation where this principle is followed. Too many homes are in chaos either because the husband/father has abdicated his role as the spiritual leader in the household or because his wife has refused to acknowledge his role in the family.
The Wives Are to Submit to Their Husbands in the Fear of Christ
At the end of v. 21 Paul states the reason we should respect the role and function God has assigned to each of us in the family. We should accept our role “in the fear of the Lord.” Although this fear is not a cringing kind of fear, it does include an element of terror. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe C. S. Lewis discusses this element in our relationship with Jesus. When Lucy discovers that the Lion Aslan (Jesus) is about to come to Narnia, she exclaims: “He is a tame lion, isn’t He?” Mrs. Beaver replies: “Oh no, my dear. He’s not tame at all.” When Lucy says she’s afraid of Aslan, Mrs. Beaver tells her that although Aslan is wild and terrible, He is nevertheless a good Lion. When Lucy actually meets Aslan, she does tremble in His presence because she not only senses how powerful He is, she also senses how dangerous He could actually be; however, His goodness and kindness assure her that she is safe with Him. We just need to remember who we're dealing with here. This “fear of the Lord” should motivate us to accept the role/function Christ as assigned to each of us in the family.
Why do we need to “fear” Christ in our relationship with our spouses? We just need to understand exactly who our spouses are. Each and every one of us has married a Christian. Who is Nancy Ford? As a Christian Nancy has the spirit of God’s Son living in her; she is now God’s daughter. In the same way I as a Christian have the spirit of God’s Son living in me as well; I am now God’s son. Most of us who are parents can understand the following dynamic. I love my son and daughter. Throughout most of their lives I have let them handle their own battles with other people. I don’t like meddling parents; however, once in each of their lives I have gotten involved to defend them because they were in way over their heads. I didn’t appreciate the people who were mistreating them and I didn’t appreciate the way these people were treating them; so I took care of the situation. Molly is my precious daughter, and Nathan is my wonderful son, and if needs be, I will defend them. In the same way God does not take kindly to people mistreating His sons and daughters, even if these sons and daughters are married. When it is all said and done, Nancy is not the one who holds me ultimately accountable for the way I treat her; her heavenly Father does. Now THAT should strike a little fear into me.
THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE WIFE TO THE HUSBAND (Ephesians 5:22-24)
| Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. |
Wives are to Subject Themselves to Their Husbands
Paul first discusses the relationship of the wife to the husband. With all due respect there is nothing earth shattering in this part of the discussion. For centuries before and even after the time of Christ women have been treated as second-class persons; therefore, when Paul tells the women to subject themselves to their own husbands, he is not really adding anything radically new to the discussion about the relationship of wives and husbands. What he does add though is quite interesting.
First, as we said earlier, Paul is not commanding the women to be in a servile relationship with their husbands. The woman is to subject herself to her husband the way the husband is to subject himself to Christ and as Christ is to subject Himself to the Father. Jesus does not have a servile relationship with His Father. Jesus obeys His Father; however, Jesus obeys Him out of love and trust, not out of a sense of duty or obligation. Jesus has dignity; He has self-respect. The woman should have that same sense of self-worth about herself as well. She is created in the image of Jesus Christ as much as the husband is. She is as worthy as the husband is. This does not mean she is not to follow his leadership; it's just that she is as valuable as the husband is. (1 Pet. 4:7 says that she is a fellow-heir of the kingdom with her husband. She is going to experience the glories of heaven as much as her husband is.)
Moreover, Paul explicitly states that she is to follow HER HUSBAND'S leadership. It doesn't say that she is to follow the leadership of other men. Yes, she has to obey the government as much as her husband does; however, the female sex is not a second-class group of people. Although she does not have the primary leadership role in the family, she is not a second-class citizen of heaven or of the family.
Wives are to Subject Themselves to Their Husbands As to the Lord
The motive Paul gives to the woman is that she is to submit to her husband as "to the Lord." In other words she submits to her husband because of her relationship with Jesus. She doesn't submit to her husband because he is better than her or even wiser than her. She submits to him because Christ wants her to. (Husbands would be wise not to take advantage of this honor.)
In v. 23 Paul states that the woman should follow her husband's leadership in EVERY MATTER because he is the head of the wife/home just like Christ is the head of the church. As the church should follow Jesus' leadership in all matters, so the wife should follow her husband's leadership.
This can be quite difficult for some women to swallow. Remember first that the church is not in a servile relationship with her Lord. Jesus tells His disciples: "Follow Me," not "Be beneath Me!" Second, most of the time when the husband has to make the final decision, it is normally just a judgment call, it's not some earth-shattering decision. Only in a few instances have I seen a husband ask a wife to do something that violates her relationship with Jesus Christ. If the husband ever does that, the women is bound NOT to follow her husband's leadership (see Acts 5:1-10, especially v. 10 and also Acts 5:29: "We must obey God rather than men"). Unless though this decision violates a wife's relationship with Christ, she should follow her husband's leadership. Third, the husband would be wise not to move on a decision until he and his wife have come to an agreement about the issue. Sometimes the decision has to be made whenever there is not an agreement; however, those times are few and far in-between.
Simply because I am the head of the household does not mean I am always right. Just ask Pilate if he wishes he had taken his wife's advice regarding Jesus. Pilate is not the only man who should have heeded his wife's advice. History is full of such examples. The man should precede without his wife's consent only if absolutely necessary, and then I would advise the husband to make sure that he is acting upon what the Lord has told him.
Wives are to Subject Themselves to Their Husbands Because the Husband Has the Primary Spiritual Responsibility for the Home
One matter wives should remember is that although they do have a responsibility before the Lord to help nurture and grow the family spiritually, the lion's share of this responsibility falls upon the man. Ultimately the Lord is going to hold the husband/father responsible for the spiritual welfare of the home. If there is a major problem in the home, it is probably the husband's fault. If the home is running smoothly, it is most likely that the husband/father is exercising proper spiritual leadership in the home.
To be sure some women make better leaders than men; however, God has not set up the family this way. It won’t function properly unless this principle is honored. Unfortunately some women have had to step up to the plate since the husbands have abdicated their roles as the leaders of their households. No leader though is worse than the wrong leader.